Pirates vs. Ninja

The Pirates vs. Ninja discussion goes back many years. It usually ends in tears and bloodshed from a throwing star or sward wound. So to set the record straight we at Duds by Dudes are going to settle the debate once and for all... Who would win in an epic battle to the death, Pirate or Ninja?We'll be fair judges, considering other overall factors than just the ability to kill in battle. Oh, and Ninja is the correct plural form of Ninja, according to the Japanese - where Ninja originated.

History

The Ninja prominently emerged in the 15th century. They served mostly as mercenary agents of espionage and as spies. Side jobs included those of assassin, terrorist, and other stealth activites. General sabotage and misdirection during battle were also telltale signs that a Ninja was nearby.However, thats about all we know about the secret assassin, appearing from the shadows and disappearing just as quickly - nary a wisp of air to know the Ninja was there.

On the other sword, Pirates have a great and storied history with many fantastical tales and stories surrounding the scurvy raiders of the sea. If a pirate enters a room, you’ll know it. No mystery surrounding that stench.

Piracy has been going on for centuries. There are written accounts going back as far as 1350 BC in ancient Egypt describing ships with no flags attacking other ships and plundering their goods. I mean the Vikings were essentially Pirates, except much larger and with better armor. The Golden Age of pirates ran from the late 1600’s to the mid 1700’s and includes fantstical characters such as Blackbeard and Barbarossa (not to be confused with the spiced rum). Yellowbeard may be just a wacky creation of Monty Python, but he is still a BAMF. Regardless, Pirates have a much more storied and colorful history than Ninja. Ninja history is shrouded in the darkness. This category goes to the Pirates. Ninja 0, Pirate 1

Training

Ninja training was more than just physical training, it was psychological. They had to train their minds as well as their bodies, if not more. Using methods of concentration such as Zen-Buddhism, Ninja were experts in concentration and perception. Training was intense and put the Ninja into direct conflict orientated situations. There were no practice rounds, the Ninja has to be in top physical form at all time, including a master of balance, stealth and all that gymnastics stuff for flipping and jumping off rooftops. The Ninja had to be a master of stress and conditioning, as well as being able to stand still for long periods of time without doing anything to give away his position.

The Pirate training manual? we're guessing looks something like this:

1. Show up. 2. Grab sword. 3. Drink, rape, pillage & plunder. 4. Pass out.

Besides training their livers to consume copious amounts of rum Ninja easily takes this category. Ninja 1, Pirate 1

Weaponry & Killing Style

Ninja were not short on weapons. Besides their hands and feet being deadly weapons, the Ninja had a virtual laundry list of other fun and sharp pointy things to use as killing objects. From swords, foot & knuckle spikes, throwing stars, whips, smoke bombs, batons, nunchucks and even utility belts. The Ninja was trained on the full and deadly usage of every single one of these weapons. Not to mention their stealthy and stain resistant Ninja garb. Usually black, but always with camouflage as top priority. The Ninja was always ready for battle and his senses were honed to handle any situation with the right weapon, even considering the mind as a weapon. Unless a Ninja was facing another Ninja or an army of Samurai, or Zombies, it was rare for the Ninja to engage in a bar room type brawl. The Ninja was a silent killer, a formidable enemy and that is why they were such effective killers.

If you were in a fight with a pirate, you’d know it. There’d be more than one of them, swords would be swinging around with reckless abandon and the smell of gunpowder would tinge the air. The slight advantage that Pirates have over Ninja comes in the form of the flint lock powder rifle or pistol. the Pirate’s ability to become effective killers multiplied tenfold when guns came into the picture. That went right back down when you took into account things like lack of training and sobriety. However, many pirates did train in swordplay and firing weapons, so they weren’t incompetent. Not to mention pirates had the advantage of being on a moving ship where kills can came from cannon fire and merciless killing after surrender. Pirates fought dirty, that fact is well known. There was no code of ethics when it came to engaging the enemy and killing them.

This category goes to the Ninja as the Ninja was a more effective killer with a multitude of awesome weaponry, and even if faced against a Pirate ship full of sailors, cannons and guns, one Ninja would kill them all while they slept. Ninja 2, Pirates 1

Pop Culture

How many Ninja movies have you watched lately? Our guess is not many. While there are plenty of Ninja movies that have been released over the years, such as Zombie vs. Ninja, the Samurai have gotten the red carpet treatment as far as mainstream movies. As far as films go though the discussion ends with the recent Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. Also we can't forget about The Pirates of Penzance musical which in addition to being a kick ass musical is mentioned in mainstream films such as Pretty Woman. Then there is national Talk Like a Pirate Day where you can unleash your inner buckaneer every September 19th.

In other media Ninja have influenced some of the best comic characters, just look at Batman's awesome weaponry and stealth Ninja like qualities.

When it comes down to it though, we have to go with LEGO being the final word. Pirates have been a staple of the LEGO universe for years and LEGO easily outweighs Snake Eyes as being high on the list of pop culture items in the universe. Pirates take this category. Pirate 2, Ninja 2

Conclusion

Well, final tally is Pirate + 2, Ninja + 2. Tied! While it is true that the Ninja is a much superior agent of chaos the Pirate lifestyle focusing on plundering pillaging and drinking just sounds like more fun. The Ninja handles each mission as its own and then silently moves onto the next with nary a thought to anything beyond while Pirate shenanigans relies on team work. Ninja have been rumored throughout history as having taken down rulers with espionage and spying, while Pirates have been known throughout history for wreaking havoc and terror on the seas. It was a close one folks, I can say that.

Clearly, a lot was left out (like Captain Morgan rum, Pirate Lexicon, wenches & Killer Coding Ninja Monkeys to name a few) But Duds by Dudes is always open to new categories being brought to the table to settle this debate once and for all.

Aussie Aussie Aussie, OI OI OI!!!

Hey Dudes and Dudettes, who is stoked on the Billabong Pipeline Masters Tourney ? We are for sure! Even though Kelly Slater wasn't the one to take the title for the 7th time we are frothing over winner Taj Burrow, the 31 year old Aussie ripped it yesterday on Oahu's North Shore...

Just as rad as watching was listening to the Aussie slang. Some of our favorites include:

1. Frothing: Loving it.
ex: Taj was frothing those waves yesterday.

2. Heaps: Lots, a ton.
ex: There were heaps of cute chickies on the beach watching the tourney.

3. A over T: to fall over, from "arse over tits".
ex: I drank too many bevies after the tourney and fell A over T into the gutter

4. Darwin stubbie: In Darwin this is a 1.25 litre bottle of beer. In the rest of the country a stubbie is a 375 ml bottle of beer, quite a difference. Legend has it that in Darwin a long road journey is not measured in time or distance but in stubbies, i.e. the number of stubbies drunk en-route.
ex: You prolly fell A over T because you had one too many Darwin stubbies at the bar, ya lush!

5. Dunny: Toilet or lavatory, originally an outside toilet or outhouse, now a generic term for the toilet regardless of location. Sometimes referred to as the Thunder Box! Different from the bathroom which really does contain a bath or shower for cleaning your personage.
ex: Maybe thats why I thought the flowerpot in the front yard was a dunny.

Want some awesome t shirts with Aussie slang or maybe Taj's face plastered across your chest? Call Duds by Dudes at 866-96-DUDES (38337) or check us on Facebook or Twitter:

D.I.Y. with the Dudette

This is for all the dudettes who have too little room in their closet, but like me want to keep updated with awesome new clothes. In this DIY t-shirt surgery seminar im gonna tell you how to salvage an old shirt, making something new and exciting.


1. CUT from the armpit to the neck on a diagonal line about 1" from the shoulder seam, making the front and back separate.


2. FOLD over about 1" of the neckline and sew down to make a tube



3. do the same on the back side



4. THREAD some pretty ribbon, about 1" thick, through the front and back tubes, gathering it as you go


5. TIE the two ends of the ribbon in a bow at one shoulder

6. Show off your awesome new threads! Possibly at The Tavern down in PB where they are doing $5 for a shot and a beer tonight. I know that's where i'm gonna be.

Now with all that new room in your closet from cutting off that extra fabric you can call Duds by Dudes at 866-96-DUDES (38337) to pick up some new hip threads, or look us up on facebook or twitter. Happy crafting dudettes!


Later!

Top 5 flavor pockets

Hey Dudes, since we got a lot of awesome feedback about our last Mac n Cheese flavor pockets post we thought we would go nuts and count down five of the finest:

5. The fat glob of guacamole hiding in your burrito. When you’re sitting in the cramped corner of a dusty Mexican joint, slowly peeling the tin foil off your burrito, chomping at blackened chicken chunks, lime-seasoned rice, and salty pinto beans (Note: This discludes any and all Santanas in the greater Southern California region because they are 100% awesome all the time), it’s an amazing feeling when you unearth a treasure trove of chunky guacamole from the dark, inner folds at the back. Note that this also applies to surprise sour cream squirts.

4.That one bright red chip coated in seasoning. Clearly the factory foreman at the Dorito Plant fell asleep at his station and accidentally kicked an industrial-sized tin of zesty bold barbecue onto the assembly line. Sure, after the fact materials costs shot up, the line was shut down for maintenance, and several union grievances were filed, but it all ended with you savoring a deliciously bright red, salty and super saturated chip.

3. The spoonful of ice cream with the giant cookie dough chunk. Fancy ice cream is a frozen clump with swirling lumps of caramel ribbons, candy-coated pralines, and marshmallow globs. Yes, all those wacky tastes are stuck in there like Hans Solo in a slab of carbonite and it’s up to you, the Luke Skywalker of the bench in front of 7-Eleven, to grit your teeth, furrow your brow, and get digging to help them break free of their frozen shackles.

2.That one lettuce leaf completely drenched in Caesar dressing. Mmmm. The best part about sliding a creamy leaf of Romaine down your throat is that the leafy green actually gets rid of some of the guilt. “I think this is what the doctor had in mind,” you say to your friends, while thick Caesar dressing drips down your chin onto the tablecloth. “High in fiber!” (Note: This also works while eating collared greens soaking in bacon broth or broccoli florets drowning in a giant lake of Cheez Whiz.)

1. The clump of brown sugar in anything home-baked. This rare find gets top spot. Sometimes there’s a secret glob of pure brown sugar in the peanut butter cookie, oatmeal muffin, or slice of banana bread at Grandma’s house. Remember: not even the oven could prevent this sugary jewel from succeeding in it’s lifelong quest to tantalize your tastebuds.

Yes, flavor pockets are a nice little highlight in the middle of your meal. When those random bites surprise and delight, just close your eyes, tip your head back, and savor every single molecule of flavor coating all the cracks and corners of your mouth.

Awesome flavor pockets

Dudes, we don't know about you guys, but we've made a lot of macaroni. Yes, for a four-year period back in college we in the Duds by Dudes clan became regular kitchen whizzes at cracking open that flimsy cardboard box of thin, rock-hard noodles, boiling them up to a perfect al dente, and stirring in that magical ratio of milk, butter, and pre-packed cheesy powder to get it jusssssssst right.

Now, everyone has their own slightly-altered recipe for the perfect batch of boxed macaroni. Some like it thin and milky while others prefer it bright, radioactive orange. Some like butter, some margarine, and some toss in a handful of chopped up weenies. The Dudette likes hers with a can of tuna, tastes just like chicken, but better because its covered in tasty artificial cheesy sauce.

However, no matter how you whip up your noodley batch, we're guessing you love biting into a surprise flavor patch of undissolved cheesy powder hidden amongst the creamy deliciousness. Yes, every time we scarf down a bowl, no matter how much stirring has been done, there’s always that deliciously hidden flavor pocket nestled amongst the noodles waiting to explode like surprising fireworks finales in your mouth.

Besides just being all around awesome, this is one of the best parts about Mac and Cheese, finding the delicious sweet spots in the middle of your meal.

AWESOME!

Words of the week

1. Moviegating: To follow any type of car for any period of time to watch the tv inside of the car

ex: I am moviegating a minivan because it has my favorite movie playing

2. Broner: A slang term used to explain the phenomenon during which a fiercely heterosexual male achieves an erection (or, "boner") for or while in the company of one of his male friends (or, "bros"). This may only occur while engaging in all-male activities, particularly those which include feats of strength or displays of hyper-masculinity.

ex: The way you creamed that linebacker gave me a total broner.


3. Indoorsman: A person who spends considerable time in indoor pursuits, such as computing, sleeping and watching sports on television.

ex: Sean, an avid indoorsman, is highly regarded for his skill at video games and computer programming.

4. Febreze shower: When you haven't showered (and don't have time to), but you don't want to go out smelling bad, so you spray yourself with Febreze instead.

ex: Ron smelled like feet, but he was running late for class so he settled for a febeze shower.


And our personal favorite which is last but far from least,

5. Man Chair: The chair that men sit in while their partner is shopping for long periods of time. They can be found in almost any clothing or shoe store.

ex: Jack sat in the man chair while he waited for Kelly to finish shopping for shoes...

Want some sweet lingo printed up on an awesome shirt? Call Duds By Dudes at 866-96- DUDES (38337) or hit us up on Facebook or Twitter.

Happy Fritter Day

Happy National Fritters Day! Sponsored by the American Heart Association, today is an entire day of the year dedicated to deliciously battered and deep fried snacks, meals, and side dishes. So go nuts with fried fritters today, eat them for every meal, fry some apple fritters for friends, hide a fritter somewhere on your body and tell your significant other to find it. GO NUTS!

Need inspiration figuring out whats best to fry? Our favorites are deep fried snickers and turkey, but these are also some awesome recipes.

Wholesome Family Activities just in time for Thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving right around the corner and oodles of family time quickly approaching we at Duds by Dudes have been brainstorming wholesome activities to do with the fam in between watching football and eating copious amounts of turkey.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Play hide the turkey - After the turkey is done cooking but before everyone starts eating have one willing referee hide the turkey somewhere in the house, Whoever finds said turkey gets to be the first to shoot whipped cream into their mouths straight from the can after dinner.

2. Play cemetary with the little ones - If you have kids on a sugar high after the pumpkin pie has kicked in this is the perfect game. First pair the kids into teams, then whoever can go the longest playing dead wins, all other participants must clean the dishes after dinner while the winner gets to supervise.

3. Play find a parking space - This one is for the shenanigans that come with the Friday shopping trip, and after a festive day of calling out Grannies for cutting you in line and throwing elbows to get to the head of the sales table you can play the followup... Where the hell did I park?

4. Become ping pong masters of the world! We're talking better than these guys,

Happy Thanksgiving from everyone at Duds by Dudes!

Nation's Fast Food Patrons No Longer Trusted To Dispense Own Ketchup

Brought to our attention by The Onion, America's Finest News Source...

In an effort to cut condiment expenses and address the gluttony, waste, and utter lack of self-restraint exhibited by Americans, officials from the fast food industry announced Monday a new policy prohibiting all customers from dispensing their own ketchup.

"We thought our patrons were responsible enough to handle a self-service ketchup pump," said McDonald's CEO James A. Skinner, who claimed that fast food industry leaders were partially to blame for overestimating the maturity of the American public. "However, after watching the way you disgusting people behave when entrusted with a little independence, it's clear that we made a terrible mistake."

"Unlimited access to ketchup is a privilege," Skinner continued, "not a right."

According to representatives from the nation's six largest fast food chains, Americans use more than $18 million worth of ketchup per year, with nearly $7 million of the tomato-based condiment ending up smeared on the backs of chairs, on nearby tables, or in the hair of small children, and in some cases simply spilt in large, repulsive puddles on the floor.

In all, some 220 factors were cited by the American Fast Food Association in their decision to remove the self-service pumps. Among them, the spectacular failure on the part of all patrons to recognize their own limits, and the tendency, among many men and women, to just squirt out the free condiment as if their lives depended on it.

From now on, those seeking extra ketchup will be required to submit a non-stained written application.

"We tried to treat our customers like adults, and they took advantage of our generosity," said Burger King CEO John W. Chidsey, who was visibly upset after hearing that Americans use on average 14 ounces of ketchup per fast food meal. "What's wrong with you people? Were you scared it was going to run out or something?"

"Look, it's not even about the ketchup, okay?" Swette added. "It's about setting some boundaries for once."

Beginning Nov. 25th, all participating fast food restaurants will begin serving a maximum of two ketchup packets with any hamburger-based meal. If a patron desires additional ketchup, he or she will have to fill out a special three-page Ketchup Request Form, which must then be presented to a manager on duty for evaluation.

In addition to specifying the reason for their request, customers will have to present fast food officials with two forms of valid ID, their social security number, and a signature from a third-party witness who can attest to there being enough remaining ketchup-free food to necessitate an additional packet. Only when all conditions are met will a patron receive a condiment voucher.

Patrons requesting barbecue sauce to dip their fries in will be escorted from the premises immediately.

"Our scientists don't spend countless hours manufacturing the food we serve just to have it dunked and drowned in obscene amounts of ketchup," said J. David Karam, president of Wendy's International. "Can customers even taste the dipropyl ketone or amyl acetate in our food anymore? It makes me sick."

Reaction to the new condiment policy has been overwhelmingly negative thus far, with some patrons claiming they would sooner eat lunch at home than frequent a fast food establishment that imposes limits on their ketchup consumption.

"This is outrageous," said Tennessee resident Sheila Hodge, a longtime fast food consumer. "If I want to gorge myself on so much ketchup that I need to vomit, then that should be my God-given right. This is McDonald's we're talking about. Half the reason I come here in the first place is so I can behave like a total animal."

At press time, the Arby's chain was continuing to let customers freely operate their "horsey sauce" dispenser, as nobody in America has touched that stuff in years.

Duds by Dudes is highly concerned over this condiment debacle and will be starting a petition to send to Congress which will demand the banishment of this preposterousness. Join us in this epic battle for the right to have unlimited ketchup by calling Duds by Dudes at 866-96-Dudes (38337) or look us up on Facebook or Twitter.

DIY Halter Top with the Dudette

Hey Dudettes, need something cute to wear out this weekend? No problem! Dig deep in that closet to find an old t-shirt, grab some scissors and a piece of contrasting fabric and start making some sweet new threads with these 5 easy steps,


1. CUT the front of the shirt into an inverted V shape.


2. CUT the back straight across, armpit to armpit.


3. SEW a length of ribbon or fabric onto the slpe of the V, leaving about 30 cm off the top edge(this will be the neck tie).


4. Carry on sewing right across the back cut and up the other V slope, leaving about 30 cm at this end too, to make the other tie.


5. Sling it on and tie the straps around your neck!

HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEKEND! Hope to see you all at the Roller Derby on Saturday in your swanky new halter tops! If you want more shirts to practice t-shirt surgery on call Duds by Dudes at 866-96-DUDES (38337) or find us on Facebook and Twitter!

Weekend Shenanigans!

Hello my fellow San Diegons, well it's Thursday and that means the weekend is upon us in 26 short hours. As energetic Gen X-ers we're sure you like to shake it like a salt shaker in a dark bar where a magnitude of bad decisions could be made, which for us is the same fun level as dressing up in a costume on non-holiday days, or finding a pair of samurai swords at a garage sale and scaring all your friends and neighbors.

However, sometimes things need to be shaken up a bit, and that is why we are going to be smashed, bashed, and crashed at the Roller Derby this Saturday. The San Diego Derby Dolls are having a bout at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. The Hard Corps are facing off with the Redwood Rollers in an all out chick on chick skatefest. So if you're interested in seeing fishnets, mohawks, and hair dye combined with an awesome American pastime we'll see you at the Derby!

Don't know what the heck we're talking about? Check out this awesome video about Roller Derby rules,

Wanna have a bad ass chick in fishnets and roller skates plastered across your chest? Call Duds by Dudes at 866-96-DUDES (38337), or find us on Facebook and Twitter.

Southern Fried Stud Bucket!

According to Mental Floss, Captain Morgan isn't just a fictitiously inebriated person after all. He was actually a Welsh pirate who later became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica.

This got us to thinking, what other "fictitious" characters could be running around incognito? Could Sailor Jerry be chugging happy hour Jäger bombs at Boathouse in Point Loma? Does Bart Simpson do ollies on the boardwalk and steal street signs in PB?

Fortunately we had a run in with one of these so called "fictitious personalities," glimpsing none other than the Colonel. That's right, Colonel Sanders was caught playing volleyball in jorts, Top Gun style down at the beach in PB by our very own Dudette

Playin with the boys!

And while The Dudette did get some free body shots out of the encounter (alcoholic or sports related? You decide), we hear from a very reliable source that the Colonel has ulterior motives...

So as you can see, these "fictitious characters" aren't fooling anyone. We're onto you!

Want a picture of the beefcake colonel plastered on your chest? Call Duds by Dudes at 866-96-DUDES (38337), or find us on Facebook or Twitter.

Whats going on here?

At Duds by Dudes we dudes and one dudette have a killer job, which is printing your artwork on T-shirts (and other awesome and useful products such as Lollipops, Slap bracelets, Towels, calendars, Tote Bags, Coffee Mugs, Piggy Banks, Koozies, Mouse Pads, shot glasses, etc) so you can walk around town wearing the coolest threads. Now this may sound simple to you, but let me walk you through one of our normally harrowing days so you might understand the complexities in producing these awesome duds.

We like to start the day off with a some java. This operation is fueled by a lot of caffeine, which fortunately inspires us with awesome ideas, such as putting a fog machine in our bosses office while he is out for the morning and patiently waiting for his return to the fog lair. Next we spend a couple hours vectorize your awesome artwork so we can give it over to our silk screen guy to burn onto the screens and squeegee onto the shirts. Wanna see how that's done? Click here! Now its lunch time, which is a very important because we acquire the necessary tools for our post-lunch food fight. Flying biscuits and hot sauce packets were this weeks weapons of choice. After the afternoon java jolt we do some more artwork. We check up on the afternoon events of Facebook and Twitter. We also chat about diverse worldly topics such as Thailand's full moon party, the perfect knee bend and arc position for throwing a ping pong ball into a red plastic cup, Chuck Palahniuk the author of Fight Club, the ultimate Cheeto shape, San Diego's surf report, DJing and local bands, UCSD's personals section of The Koala, and roller hockey, while humming the Cheech and Chong's Mexican Americans song during conversational lulls. This is all considered creative inspiration for making rad artwork.

So you see we keep very busy at work. If you would like to have a shirt made up call 866-96-DUDES (38337) or check us on Facebook and Twitter,

Later Broski!